Four eyes. Half blind. Vision impaired.
These are a few of the words I would use to describe myself. Yes, I Vaishali, am a proud owner of multiple pairs of glasses and in a variety of colours. (Insert fake enthusiasm)
For those of you who have heard these words before it should come as no shock to you that I experience frequent headaches.
We spectacled folks,tend to have these mind numbing migraines where we swing from being as quiet as a mouse to being as angry as a giant. These migraines tend to usually signify an increase in our eye power (Although in my case,its due to an annoying bunch of friends)
And who are the most important people in our lives,whom we decide to grace with these mood swings?:Yes, dear reader, our mothers (Don't even try denying it)
The most important skill of a person who wears spectacles,is the skill of deception. Deceiving the above mentioned mothers that either we don't have a headache or that the headache signifies something other than an increase in our eye power,is a task in itself.
I got my first pair of glasses when I was a teeny tiny thing of seven. so I think its pretty obvious,that I would have become a master of deception over the course of ten years.
So here is a list of excuses for those dreadful migraines that seem to render you useless.
1. Maa,this is what happens when I study too much.
Say this even though like me,you have not studied much. But you have to know how to sell this lie. I would suggest practising your poker face in the mirror first.
2.Headache? Huh whats that? How do you even spell that?
Either act completely dumb or pretend to have short term memory loss. In my experience,the latter works wonders (including an actual hit to the head)
3.I'm in the G0 phase.
This may actually help in proving the first excuse. Reference to the resting phase of cells during cell division will back up your first excuse and will also let you rest in peace.
4.Shh...don't tell anyone,but I am devoloping superpowers.
Hold your head in your hands and wail loudly. (look at videos of Voldemort in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire) and when Mom comes into your room flustered, give her an evil grin and say "I will spare you,Muggle"
5. I think my eyesight is improving!
I can see you clearer now,Mother! wait,are those age lines? tsk tsk.
6. I think my hearing is deteriorating along with my sight.
What? I can't hear you! did you say French fries are hot or French guys are hot? Also Maa,do you really want to drag me to an ENT specialist along with a visit to the Ophthalmologist?
7. I think my brain is growing!
What other sane explanation do you have for these migraines, Maa? It's obvious that I am so intelligent and my brain needs more space to store important information
Most of these excuses have been tried and tested. But do give us feedback on how all of them work for you.
Oh,and sorry for the delay in posting. Blame it all on my unhealthy obsession with Candy Crush. I do hope all those death threats will stop though.
-Vaishali Ramesh
Note from Vaishali's mother: Despite all the silly excuses Vaishali gives me, her spectacles are changed once a quarter.
Word of the day:
Incorrigible: meaning a person or behavior that is not able to change. (synonym for Vaishali)
Quote of the day:
Life's most persistent and urgent question is,what are you doing for others? -Martin Luther King.
These are a few of the words I would use to describe myself. Yes, I Vaishali, am a proud owner of multiple pairs of glasses and in a variety of colours. (Insert fake enthusiasm)
For those of you who have heard these words before it should come as no shock to you that I experience frequent headaches.
We spectacled folks,tend to have these mind numbing migraines where we swing from being as quiet as a mouse to being as angry as a giant. These migraines tend to usually signify an increase in our eye power (Although in my case,its due to an annoying bunch of friends)
And who are the most important people in our lives,whom we decide to grace with these mood swings?:Yes, dear reader, our mothers (Don't even try denying it)
The most important skill of a person who wears spectacles,is the skill of deception. Deceiving the above mentioned mothers that either we don't have a headache or that the headache signifies something other than an increase in our eye power,is a task in itself.
I got my first pair of glasses when I was a teeny tiny thing of seven. so I think its pretty obvious,that I would have become a master of deception over the course of ten years.
So here is a list of excuses for those dreadful migraines that seem to render you useless.
1. Maa,this is what happens when I study too much.
Say this even though like me,you have not studied much. But you have to know how to sell this lie. I would suggest practising your poker face in the mirror first.
2.Headache? Huh whats that? How do you even spell that?
Either act completely dumb or pretend to have short term memory loss. In my experience,the latter works wonders (including an actual hit to the head)
3.I'm in the G0 phase.
This may actually help in proving the first excuse. Reference to the resting phase of cells during cell division will back up your first excuse and will also let you rest in peace.
4.Shh...don't tell anyone,but I am devoloping superpowers.
Hold your head in your hands and wail loudly. (look at videos of Voldemort in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire) and when Mom comes into your room flustered, give her an evil grin and say "I will spare you,Muggle"
5. I think my eyesight is improving!
I can see you clearer now,Mother! wait,are those age lines? tsk tsk.
6. I think my hearing is deteriorating along with my sight.
What? I can't hear you! did you say French fries are hot or French guys are hot? Also Maa,do you really want to drag me to an ENT specialist along with a visit to the Ophthalmologist?
7. I think my brain is growing!
What other sane explanation do you have for these migraines, Maa? It's obvious that I am so intelligent and my brain needs more space to store important information
Oh,and sorry for the delay in posting. Blame it all on my unhealthy obsession with Candy Crush. I do hope all those death threats will stop though.
-Vaishali Ramesh
Note from Vaishali's mother: Despite all the silly excuses Vaishali gives me, her spectacles are changed once a quarter.
Word of the day:
Incorrigible: meaning a person or behavior that is not able to change. (synonym for Vaishali)
Life's most persistent and urgent question is,what are you doing for others? -Martin Luther King.
